Avoid

Hussain (Indonesia)

[Writing experiment]

For my attempt to understand metaphor in my writing, I took a paragraph of my recent personal essay and rewrote it with metaphor-free sentences. I noticed that without metaphor the writing is ugly and dull.

Original with metaphors

The moonlight fully dominated the sky. Every streetlight turned on to delay the darkness of the night. I noticed no one was closing their shops as if the moonlight brought a new phase to their businesses. Stalls on the side of the street were making and selling different Indonesian foods I hadn’t tried yet. I continued trying to avoid passing by the stalls. My curious gaze gave the sellers the expression of a new customer. I’m quite conservative in my eating. New food doesn’t taste right on my tongue.

Without most metaphors
It was 6 pm. Every light on the street was turned on. I noticed no one had closed their shop as if they had just began selling. Stalls on the side of the street were cooking and selling all kind of Indonesian foods I hadn’t eaten yet. I continued trying to avoid passing by the stalls…