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David (Norway)

[writing experiment]

Camila showed many signs of basing her life narrative on music. During the first interview, she mentioned an episode of violence between Abel (her husband) and a friend of hers. She did not provide details but sang Aunque te Fuiste [Even though you left] by Don Omar. The song (reggaeton) deals with the pain of losing a dear person: ‘It was not easy, having you and losing you, to accept forgetting you, and today that you left, I feel I will go crazy’. During the second interview, Camila dug more details of the episode:

Camila: We [Camila and her friend] sat at the table to drink and I proposed to play cards, and he said ‘ok’. We started playing when my husband arrived with other sayayines [slang for vigilantes in drug markets]. I started drinking, I opened the first beer. He [her friend] put the beer on the table and then they took him [she simulates shooting a gun].
Interviewer: Did your husband kill your friend?
Camila: Yes, my husband.
Interviewer: In front of you?
Camila: Yes, in front of me.

Neuropsychologists have documented that music works as an anchor to which people can attach a dissolving identity, particularly for adults with substance use disorders. These insights add another dimension to the many possible roles music can play for people in the criminal justice system. Music provides Camila with a way to understand traumatic episodes in her life, locate them in time, and express the associated feelings. They help her to keep track of a vanishing life. Stories of music (that do not vanish) take precedence over actual and lived life.