Stage a Scene

Pam (australia)

[Writing experiment]

STAYING ALIVE: A comedic drama in one part.

The setting: A cold hard pavement near a busy road. Discarded papers blow about in the gritty breeze. Laughter, singing, shouting, and occasional applause can be heard intermittently in the background.

A thesis (dissertation) lies gasping on the footpath. People rush past on either side, intent on their own research, teaching, service…barely pausing to notice the near-death experience happening at their feet.

The soundtrack to this scene is “Staying Alive”, by the Bee Gees. The Bee Gees have been around for a long time and some of the group have passed into a different life, and yet they still have some influence. It is not accidental that First Aid teachers use this track to help people learn the correct rate of compressions in CPR.

Props: The set is sparse and unwelcoming. There are few props - just a battered rubbish bin and a single streetlight. The set's colour scheme is monochromatic, inspired by brutalist architecture in many shades of grey.

Costumes: The thesis is wearing a royal blue coat, with silver details and a classy ribbon that matches the coat. Pam is in her pyjamas from waist down, but wears a neutral top and has brushed her hair and applied just enough makeup to keep people from telling her she looks tired. The First Aid team (Helen, Amy and Victoria) are in exuberant contrast: they are wearing bright colours, streamers and ribbons in their hair, with dramatically confident stage makeup. The cast of onlookers who stop to offer assistance are a varied bunch, their costumes ranging from tender pinks to vivid purples, one cast member in artistic black setting off the bright burnished orange of another’s outfit.

Lighting: The action takes place in the glare of the single streetlight, with the background movement taking place in subdued shadows.

Staging: The audience is seated a little distance away from the stage, grouped in various seating positions, and looking up at the elevated ivory-hued stage. A long delay occurs between the curtain going up and the start of any action, and the audience becomes restless. A few start to move towards the door, having little patience for academic/dramatic processes.

Scene 1: The thesis is lying awkwardly on the pavement, one arm raised to attract attention, while shadowy crowds bustle to and fro in the background)

Thesis (gasps): Help! Help! Please, someone...down here. I can’t hold on much longer.
Pam: Oh my goodness, it’s you! Thesis! What happened!
Thesis: I’m getting old and frail. I haven’t been getting enough sunlight. I haven’t had much exercise and I’m suffering from neglect, as you can probably tell. Where did you go?
Pam: I got caught up in marking! I feel so bad about this, but I had to earn a living, and, academia, you know…
(Pam clutches her pearls)
Thesis: Hack, cough, splutter.
Pam: Someone! Call an ambulance! There isn’t much time!
(Pam remembers her own phone, and dials frantically.)
Thesis: I’m so glad you’re back, though. If I don’t make it, promise me you’ll do something with our work. All those parents who shared their stories…
Pam: No, you mustn’t talk like that! We can still get something happening. I just need some fresh ideas.
Thesis: Maybe we should try to…
(The thesis collapses in Pam’s arms.)
Pam: No! I won’t let it happen! I will resuscitate you!
(In the distance, approaching sirens can be heard.)
Pam: Someone help! Why isn’t anyone paying any attention?
(A bystander pauses and speaks in Pam’s ear.)
Pam: Yes, yes, I know the marks are due in tomorrow. I know the university’s international ranking depends on student experience. I know I need to respond to the staff satisfaction survey and give my email address on the last page and of course I’m confident that all data is treated with the utmost confidentiality and no adverse employment consequences will occur. But Thesis is dying here! Help me roll it on to its back and start CPR!
(The bystander shakes their head sadly and moves back into the crowd. At this moment, an ambulance screeches to a stop at the edge of the stage, and Helen, Amy and Victoria jump out.)
Helen: It’s ok, we know what to do. Amy, Victoria, bring the tools!
Pam: Oh my goodness, how colourful! How vibrant! I feel a new energy. I might even break into dance!
Other Creativity Catalyst classmates emerge from the crowd. One offers refreshment. Another calls encouragingly from the sidelines. A third passes a new tool to Helen and the group cheers.
Thesis: Wha..? Where…? Who…? Oh, I’m feeling a little better. The creative energy is reviving me! Pam, we should start to work together again!

The cast line up across the stage and in unison strike a pose, pointing with one extended arm to the sky. They break into song.
All: Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Staying alive, staying alive! Ah, ah, ah, ah, staying aliiiiiiive!

The curtains close, to rapturous applause.